This job just wouldn’t be the same without my weekly “Amy Winehouse is arrested/hospitalized/running down the street in her underwear” story. This week does not disappoint.

The drugged-out singer was rushed to a London area hospital Monday night after suffering from what her spokespeople are calling an allergic reaction.

“Amy Winehouse suffered a reaction to medication at home this evening and was taken to hospital. Doctors have advised that she will be kept under observation overnight and is likely to be released tomorrow.”

If by “medication” he means “years of crack smoking” then yes, I could see why the “reaction” (or overdose, whatever you want to call it — I mean, I’m no doctor or anything) would be cause for alarm.

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When a gal still owes a record label millions of dollars in sales from an album that doesn’t seem to be appearing any time soon, said label will do whatever it takes to ensure their cash cow delivers — even if it means locking her up for her own good!

Amy Winehouse has effectively been out under house arrest by her label after admitting to sneaking drugs into rehab. “There is also a security guard stationed outside her house around the clock to vet any undesirables,” said a source. “From now on there’ll be no more waifs and strays - or fans - coming into her place, wreaking havoc.

“Crucially, they don’t want known drug dealers coming anywhere near her.

“Amy has to give them names of people expected. Anyone who turns up uninvited will be sent packing. It’s for her own good.”

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We told you earlier this week that Amy Winehouse was rushed to the hospital, where she was being kept under observation after a fainting spell in her home. Doctors now believe they have a diagnosis: an irregular heartbeat.

Why would she have an irregular heartbeat? Crack, of course.

A doctor told The Sun, “Crack narrows blood vessels and raises pressure. It is toxic to the heart muscle, causing an irregular beat. A heart attack is one of the most common ways for the drug to kill.”

Amy’s family is looking into getting a court order to keep her in the hospital against her will, because they fear it is her last best chance to get off drugs for good.

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Amy Winehouse has been hospitalized after fainting at home Monday.

A spokesperson says, “Amy was at home this afternoon when she briefly fainted. Fortunately, her manager’s assistant was there to stop her falling. She quickly recovered and her father Mitch took her to hospital as a precaution. Doctors are unsure of the cause of the incident and Amy is currently undergoing tests.”

Wait, what? Doctors are unsure of the cause??? How about homegirl is a crackhead? Or homegirl’s weave is too heavy? Or homegirl is a crackhead whose weave is too heavy? Diagnosis mystery solved. Who needs a $200,000 medical degree?

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Lat week, News of the World published a shocking video of Amy Winehouse that showed her and a friend singing a racist song and smoking crack, as filmed by Amy’s now-jailed husband Blake. The video can now be released publicly, straight to readers of The Buzz!

Amy later apologized for the song, but is it too little, too late?

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Save the mice before these two crackheads eat them! Seriously, Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty look like they are about to deep fry those poor baby mice and gobble them up with a side of fava beans, finished off with a huge hit from the crack pipe.

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Amy Winehouse performed twice last night at the Brit Awards, the UK version of the Grammy’s. Her performances were fanatastic, reminiscent of the original Amy Winehouse, before all of the crack and booze, back when she was actually working to get to the place in music that she has reached today. Judging by her performances last night, maybe she is finally committed to cleaning up.

Here is a clip is Amy’s performance of her all too relevant hit, “Love is a Losing Game.”

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After the recording academy bestowed its highest honors on troubled singer Amy Winehouse — including record of the year — Natalie Cole added her two cents today about the British artist’s victories.

“I’m going on record as an artist that is able to critique,” said Cole to reporters after the awards. Cole herself is a recovering addict and feels that fact gives her the moral authority to pass judgement on who the Grammys give awards. “I don’t agree with the Grammys giving her those nods. I think it sends the wrong message, that even in the midst of her stupor of drugs she can get nominated for all these awards.”

This coming from a singer with a closet full of Grammys and her own set of drug and alcohol issues.

Something about pots calling kettles black, perhaps, Natalie?

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