Matthew McConaughey pimped his kid out to OK! Magazine for a stupid amount of money so we can all ooh and aah over how cute little Levi turned out. First of all, who knew Matty was so low rent that he would go with OK! over People? Did People not want him?

Second of all, that baby looks like he’s got a contact high.

Here’s what Matty had to say about the birth of his son:

“I said, ‘Come here, little man. I saw the pecker and screamed that we’d been right all along about him being a boy. Then I brought him over to her [Camila]. It was neat to find out what the sex was because we didn’t have the doctor tell us beforehand. I’ve pulled out some baby pictures of myself, and the resemblance is amazing. This kid has a lot to learn from us. I want him to come out being a little wiser, a little cooler and a little happier than we are.”

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The merely modestly talented Balthazar Getty and Sienna Miller have been flaunting their affair all over Europe for the last month, with pics popping up of him being a great pal and helping her out with her monthly breast exam. Problem? He’s married. With four kids. And he was denying an affair despite the photographic proof. Until now.

“The breakdown of a marriage is a very difficult and painful experience especially when children are involved. In light of the fact that many pictures have surfaced in print and on the internet which has caused myself and my family great embarrassment, I felt it necessary to at least acknowledge publicly that yes indeed my wife and I have separated and I will not be commenting any further.”

Bull, says a source close to the couple. “Balthazar was 100 per cent not separated from her when he started dating Sienna. Rosetta is heartbroken. She has an eight-month-old baby and three other kids with Balthazar.”

Classy.

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Sarah Silverman actually has some good news to share this week!

So what if her five year relationship is over with ABC late night host, Jimmy Kimmel? Sarah Silverman has something to celebrate.

She was nominated for an Emmy! As for an ironic twist of fate: her nomination came for her funny and faux affair with Matt Damon which aired on Kimmel’s show that was represented in song, “I’m (beep) Matt Damon.”

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The true “American Beauty,” Mena Suvari, will be hearing wedding bells. She recently became engaged to music producer and concert promoter Simone Sestito.

During their vacation to Jamaica, Sestito proposed on a seaside beach. The 29-year-old actress met her man last year at the Toronto Film Festival when she was promoting her film Stuck.

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It is not enough for Sienna Miller to be known for doing one thing badly, like dressing herself. No, Sienna is a woman of ambition. She must reach for the stars and do not one, not two, but at least three things with such total ineptitude that she is written about in gossip rags for generations to come (or at least hours).

Number two would be acting. Did you see her in Stardust? Gah.

Number three would be her love life. Because not only did she take back up with Jude Law after he cheated on her with a far less attractive nanny a few years back, she has now taken up with a very married and very father of four children Balthazar Getty.

Getty, who has his wife’s name Rosetta tattooed across his chest, joined Miller on a yacht trip during which he was seen fondling her breasts and making out with her, yet he denies his marriage is in trouble or that he and his wife are separating. Interesting arrangement, that.

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Ah, brotherly love. When you are down on your luck, the world is circling around you, it’s always good to know the fraternal sibling will be there.

Or, maybe not.

By now you may have heard that Christopher Ciccone, the Material Girl’s brother dished about her marriage to Guy Ritchie in his tome, “Life with My Sister Madonna.”

He wrote in the Mail, a UK newspaper over the weekend, “Their life together is sometimes difficult.”

With relatives like this, who needs enemies? Sheesh!

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Funny couple Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman have called it quits after a five year relationship and an anniversary marked by videos proclaiming who each of them was “f***ing.” Reps for the couple confirmed the split, adding, “Jimmy and Sarah have and will have no further comment.”

Where has that Matt Damon been lately, anyway? Hmmm…

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Uma Thurman swore she’d never to walk down the aisle again. She’s happy to take back her words of never getting married, says the former bride to Gary Oldman and Ethan Hawke.

The thirty-eight-year old talented actress is engaged to a Swiss multi-millionaire (as in not just a millionaire but check that, he’s a “multi” man) Arpad “Arki” Busson.

Uma stated to the UK’s Sunday Times Style magazine, ”I’m going to have to retract my statement of never,” she says. “I’ll have to eat my words,  what a surprise.” Plus, the article notes her 8-plus carat center diamond ring (can we say bling? Seriously that’s one heckuva rock!) apparently makes it difficult for her hand to get through the sleeve of her coat.

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